#despite having every reason not to trust it

[edenfenixblogs]

This is truly art because it elicits an emotional reaction. It’s a good example of art, because the emotion it elicits from me is extremely complex.

It reminds me of people with whom I’ve drifted apart for a variety of reasons in recent and more distant seasons of my life. I feel sorrow and nostalgia but also hope and love. And in some cases, disgust, which is reflected well in somewhat rotted appearance of the center.

It reminds me of the fragility of human connection in its thin, papery dried petals.

It makes me laugh in its simplicity and meme-like format. The modernity of the presentation with the timelessness of flowers with the inescapable past-tense of the dried and dead aspect is genuinely a little heartbreaking and very thought provoking. It reminds me that the things I’m feeling when I look at this are as ancient as they are present.

I feel guilt about how it makes me miss some people I wish I’d kept in touch with more. I feel shame and rage at how it makes me think of people I miss, because my memory recalls how it felt when things were good with them, despite knowing how toxic things had become by the end. I’m envious of that bit of memory that gets to remain Peter Pan in Never Neverland—never having to confront its future which is now my past. That part gets to be oblivious of the things that eroded trust and love enough to make that person a stranger.

It reminds me of non-human creatures I miss and yearn for—childhood pets, a beautiful hummingbird that used to linger outside my window, the wild creatures I saw on my drive through the country in fourth grade but that aren’t native to my area or anywhere I have lived, the fly to whom my preschool classmate gave a name and insisted was now a part of our friend group because she loved every living thing… The fly is long gone. But our friendship remains between that classmate and I. She is now my oldest friend, and her children are the age we were when we met.

It reminds me of lifeless objects and ideas filled with nostalgia—the orange VHS tapes of 1990s Nickelodeon movies, the smell of the fake raspberries in a spoon I used to feed my baby doll, the intoxicating scent of sunscreen and wet chlorine on my skin during summer days at the community pool, and the golden gold ball bookmark I would purposefully steal from my great grandfather’s books, making him lose his place. He always made a great show of being annoyed, because he really did lose his place. But he couldn’t stop smiling because I was a mastermind and my giggles infected him. I’ve lost him long ago. Sometimes my bookmarks fall out of my books at the most inconvenient times, and in my soul I know he is behind it and cackling from heaven. I listen mostly to audiobooks now and sometimes I feel myself drifting off to sleep when I listen to them in bed. But I always catch myself and turn the audio off and switch to podcasts. And I send a small silent prayer upwards to him “Not today, Grandpa. But I love you, too.”

I’m a writer. I’m good with words. I think words can be art. But I love visual art. I love that I can look at this image and see all of that. And that someone else can see an entirely different essay of inner monologue when they look at it.

There is a lie that struggle makes good art. But that’s not true. People with something to say make good art. These next few years will be hard. And your priority must be to take care of yourself and survive. But if you have things to say, whether through words or other art, please know that taking the time to say them is important. It’s important you release those thoughts and ideas, even if you don’t know how to articulate them in words. And it’s important you know that people like me are listening.

I love you. Thanks for the art.

[satinroses]

Night Time Routines

How the harbingers and their darlings ready for bed

Yan! Harbingers x reader (separate)

Feat: Capitano, Dottore, Pantalone and Scaramouche

Word Count: 3.4K

A/N: “honk shoooo honk shoooo” - capitano, “zzzzz zzzz” - Pantalone, “honk mi mi mi” - Scaramouche, dottore’s doesn’t snore but he does speak in fluent sentences in his sleep and it’s terrifying. thank you for coming to my ted talk. also yes i made scaras pretty purple eyes light up like ei’s when she’s using her skill, the more raiden parallels the better in my opinion

Warnings: 5.3 archon quest spoilers, Yandere behaviours, i have likely not proof read this as well as i should have so i apologise for any mistakes, dark themes, some mentions of NSFW themes but no actual smut, being robbed of making choices, they all have serious control issues

Capitano:

Capitano has struggled with sleep for centuries now, he hopes you take no offence when he doesn’t join you at night however he would never wish to make you feel neglected. The primary reason he stole you away was to could ensure that you are treated with the dignity and adoration that befits someone of your character.

If your hair is long enough then he takes great care in braiding it every night. You’re surprised that a man of his stature is able to manoeuvre his fingers so nimbly through your hair. If braids aren’t your style or they simply wouldn’t work with your hair then he patiently awaits your instruction. Whether you want a bun, a ponytail or simply for your hair to flow freely he will diligently do as you command.

Although some aspects of your night routine may resemble that of Pantalone’s darling, Capitano doesn’t force you to abide by any particular routines. As long as you get enough rest he doesn’t mind if you spend every evening huddled in the library, just please allow him to sit with you as you read, nothing would bring him greater pleasure.

Despite the first harbinger being unable to sleep due to the constant burden of the tormented souls upon him, he does find comfort in the domesticity partaking in your nightly routines affords him. Watching your eyes flutter shut, hearing the words that slip out of your mouth leaving him to guess what you could possibly be dreaming about, watching over you when you are at your most defenceless.

He finds it utterly endearing to see you in this state. His heart feels much lighter the first night you fall asleep in his presence. He understands you may hold some resentment towards him for stealing you away from your home and the life you knew yet he is able to find hope in the vulnerability your behaviour shows. Being in your most docile and helpless form around him must surely mean you hold some form of trust for him. Trust is something he can work with, he’s certain now that he can cultivate this small piece of trust that you’ve extended to him from a sapling into a flourishing bloom and in time, perhaps you’ll forgive him for the selfish decision he made. He was utterly mindless and inconsiderate when he took you with him, against your will. Every day he lives with the shame of stealing you and yet... watching over you as you lay in his sheets, he cannot bring himself to regret it.

He shuts his eyes and listens to the rhythm of your breaths, a symphony that brings him nothing but relief. The knowledge that you were resting peacefully by his side invigorates him far more than slumber ever could.

After some time passes and he truly believes you are warming up to him in spite of everything, he might slip into your bed (with your permission of course). He’s unsure what to do at first, so overwhelmed with your closeness and warmth but as you begin to drift into a dreamscape, he allows his hands to wander slightly (but never anywhere inappropriate, despite how desperately he might crave your body he would never force you to do anything that might dishonour you). The body heat that emanates from you brings him immeasurable comfort as he forgets about the pain of the abyssal rot ravaging his body, instead focusing on the softness of your skin on his.

To feel you against him, your body tucked against his, it brings comfort that settles deep in his bones, not even the heavenly principles nor the curse that eats away at his flesh could strip it from him. For the first time in 500 years he remembers what its like to have a home.

Dottore:

You have the misfortune of having spent more time alone with Dottore than anyone else in Teyvat. In spite of his near constant presence, you had never once see him or any of his clones go to sleep. Once every few months you’ll catch him with his eyes shut and hunched over his desk, you assume he has finally drifted off but then mere seconds later his eyes will shoot open and his hands resume tinkering with whatever (or whoever) has had the misfortune of piquing his interest.

Prior to eliminating his clones he often used them as lab assistants, citing that the only person who he could trust to fulfil his work to the measure of perfection he demanded was himself. As the sun began to set whichever of his clones had the least to do would be charged with escorting you from his laboratory in the cellars of Zapolyarny palace to your shared estate. Much to Dottore’s annoyance, he swears that as the moon begins to rise, the segments begins to rush to finish their tasks in hopes of being the one to escort you home.

From early morning to night time you are forced to remain wherever Dottore is however he understands you are only human (for the time being, however he has plans to change that) and you require rest so he allows you to go home and sleep with the caveat that a segment remains by your side as he repeats a similar sentiment as he did earlier, that being the only man he would ever trust with your safety is himself.

Upon prime having to destroy the clones he is visibly on edge despite his dismissals when you try to enquire about it. It’s evident to you that without having the security of his segments watching over you he is tense. He now forbids you from going home, even with a platoon of Fatui guarding you, he has made far too many enemies to count over the years, he isn’t foolish enough to entrust your safety to some lackeys that even the eleventh could carve through with ease.

Much to your dismay he also states that he cannot take so much time away from his experiments to tend to your slumber and that from now on you will be sleeping in the laboratory.

It doesn’t take much exertion for his brilliant mind for him to deduce that you are not thrilled at this development.

After a few days of complaining he finally cracks. You seem to find a fault with every aspect of his laboratory.

”I’m uncomfortable”

”My back hurts”

”It’s too loud”

”It’s too bright”

”It’s too hot”

“It’s too cold”

”This pillow is lumpy”

”I can feel you staring at me”

It drives him mad. His next experiment will be on your voice, he has to test his hypothesis that there is something particular about your voice, perhaps it’s the tone or the pitch but whenever you speak he can’t help but grant you his full attention.

He prides himself on his resilience but for you he has always been quick to crack. Seeing you in such a bad mood puts him in a bad mood. Suddenly his patience has been shortened exponentially, the screams of his patients grind on his nerves far too quickly, leading to many experiments being cut short.

The following morning you will see two anemo skirmishers setting down a large object covered in a dust sheet in the far corner of the laboratory. You raise your question to Dottore, asking what it is. Only then does he set down his tools, a tiny smirk blooms across his face as he takes your hand in his and leads you across the room before lifting the sheet off the object and looking at you expectantly.

It was a single bed with plain white sheets and a single pillow. It was hardly exuberant but for Dottore to even show any form of regard for the discomfort of any living being was nothing short of a miracle.

If you ask him what prompted this his voice will grow venomous as he bites out that your endless complaints were a hindrance to his experiments but you see the self-satisfied sneer on his face as he soaks in your gratitude.

Admittedly you do still have to endure the screams of those unfortunate enough to end up strapped to the operating table as he refuses to allow you any form of noise cancellation lest he needs you for something (he never has but you’re sure he just doesn’t want to give you any avenues for ignoring him), at least you can keep your head staunchly under your pillow for whatever small form of muting the cries that it's able to provide.

Pantalone:

In spite of your resentment for Pantalone you could not deny the morbid interest you had in watching him go about his day. As an outsider you couldn’t shrug the pervasive feeling that had settled in your mind that his whole day seemed to be more of an elaborate routine rather than a man naturally progressing through the day.

Every paper, painting and plate had a specific place in his life and that was how Pantalone preferred it. One night at dinner you had made note of it and he had let out a rare chuckle as he gazed at you from across the grand mahogany dinner table. He put down his utensils before taking a moment to stare down at his hands, twisting the rings back into place so that the gemstones on them rested perfectly on his fingers, glimmering just right in the light before he acknowledged that perhaps some people might agree that he can be a little particular.

From the moment he had taken you into his home, he made sure that you too fit into his routine as flawlessly as everything else. He had expectations that you would meet if you knew what was good for you. Throughout the day his routine never once relaxed and as such, neither did yours. From the moment dinner ends he has you on a schedule that he had devoted hours to ensure it would allow you to fit into his schedule as perfectly as he wants you to. Like a ballerina wound up in a jewellery box, you would pirouette seamlessly to whichever melody he desired and you only move when he winds your cogs, never before.

Once you rise from the dinner table and he returns to his study, you are taken directly to your shared chambers with Pantalone by your ladies maids. In the porcelain tub within the en-suite sits a pool of hot water, still steaming with heat. Standing there awkwardly with only a silk robe wrapped around you as maids flutter in and out of the room. You stay rocking on the balls of your feet until at last the head maid returns, with her she carries a silver tray upon which rests several different bottles of fragrant oils and soaps to add to your bath.

Perhaps if you had been a little less perceptive you would believe this to be one of the areas in your life in which he allows some leniency but that is not the case. You are certain beyond all measure that each and every scent has gotten his approval before being presented to you. Maybe you should be thankful for this small illusion of choice but it only makes the reality of you situation sting in your tear ducts.

As you smell each one the head maid takes great enthusiasm in telling you the elaborate backstory for each and every bottle. Although its her voice speaking, you can hear his words.

The violet grass scent that had been acquired from the very highest point of Liyue’s immense mountain scape lending to it’s powdery floral notes being far more potent that before.

The sakura bloom oil had been extracted from a handful of petals that had been struck by the Shogun’s own divine lightning lending to it’s typical sweet smell having a bright undertone. You couldn’t stand that oil, you swore every time you applied it, it tingled.

The glaze Lilly that this oil had been diffused from had allegedly only bloomed when an adeptus descended from her abode in Jueyun Karst to serenade the flower and coaxing it into opening its petals. Supposedly its scent was so delicate and intoxicating that everyone who smelt it wept tears of joy. You didn’t think it smelt much different than any other glaze Lilly.

After a dozen more being presented to you, each with its own elaborate origins you simply grabbed the bottle closest to you on the tray, not caring which. They all smelt far too similar to care.

Since the day you were taken he had insisted that there was no price too high for his beloved. Perhaps he thinks you find his gifts romantic, instead you can’t help but laugh bitterly at the irony of your bathing products being better travelled than you are.

After nearly an hour of several maids scrubbing you from head to toe (when you had originally arrived you had refused their help however once Pantalone caught wind of this he had punished the maids for it. You had pleaded with him that it was your own fault for refusing their help and to please not punish them for your actions. He smiled gently, thanking you for your honesty before pressing a gently kiss to your forehead yet he said nothing about pardoning the maids, dismissing you at every mention of it. You had an entirely different group of maids tending to you the following morning and every subsequent morning after that).

After leaving the bath and drying off, you were dressed in a night gown. They were undoubtedly the worst part of the night, although they were beautiful they were also covered in itchy lace with necklines too deep and hems too short for the Snezhnayan winter.

After being dressed you would sit down at your vanity and methodically brush your hair with the gifts he had gotten you from Mondstadt: a boar bristle brush with a silver handle (he claimed the bristles were from a mighty bore sovereign native to Dragonspine) and a Dragon bone comb (he also had this made in Dragonspine, the bone acquired from the skeleton of Durin, the comb was a sturdy bone that no matter what always stayed warm).

Finally you would lie in bed and wait for your husband. If he decides to join you then you can slip gently into your dreams, the one place where you can forget about the heavy arm latched around your waist and the fingers tangled in your hair. On more unfortunate nights, he would not join you in your shared chambers, instead he would expect you to come to him. Shuffling sleepily through dark corridors until you finally reached the tall doors of his study. Your knuckle barely grazes the wood before the door swings open and he offers you a gentle smile before wrapping his arm around your waist and coaxing you in.

If you were lucky a few well-placed tender kisses to his neck would persuade him to abandon his work and join you in bed however some nights he would have you sat on his lap until the sun rose. Those nights you rarely slept well as you had to deal with his mutterings, the candle light illuminating the room and the way he adjusted you on his lap. If you were lucky you could shut your eyes and feign sleep when you felt something hard growing beneath you, other nights he was insistent on your participation.

Scaramouche:

Throughout the countless waking hours you’ve spent in unwilling solitude with the sixth harbinger you were hardly surprised at the revelation that his sour attitude persists far past the sunset and well into the moonlit hours. If anything his annoyance only grew the closer you crept to retiring for the night.

Having no knowledge of his marionette body’s ability to endure without sleep, you couldn’t disguise your discomfort the first night you shared his bed and his lilac eyes stayed glued to you all night, their vibrant hue glowing in the dark of your chambers. You could see the dim purple light in the room, even through your eyelids. His illuminated eyes wouldn’t move from your face as you rested. It doesn’t matter how often you late in the night you might wake up or how often you squint through your half-closed eyes at him, Scaramouche’s gaze stays fixed intently on you from the moment you pull the blankets over your shoulders.

Should you somehow develop a fondness for your captor you will quickly learn that in spite of his feelings for you, he is not an attentive or affectionate man. Scaramouche scoffs at the proposal of ‘cuddling’. He spits out that he will not entertain such pathetic displays of fondness, not even for you. The firm tenor in his voice makes you believe that there is no room for negotiation on the matter, however from that night onwards, his hand remains fixed tightly around your wrist the moment you retire under the covers with him.

One particularly irritating trait about Scaramouche is his insistence that you never turn away from him, many times your awoken by a set of firm hands clamped down on your shoulders as they turn you around in the bed, back to facing him. While you are both waking and sleeping he refuses to allow you to turn your back to him, you’re unsure as to why and frankly you’re not certain you wish to know. There are aspects of your captor's past that you're undoubtedly influence his current actions yet you do not wish to learn such things, not yet.

On exceptionally rare occasions, oftentimes after an intimate night of gently unwinding with him, removing his clothing with all the attentiveness he has expected to be synonymous with being the wife of the sixth harbinger. Brush your lips gently over his skin with a tenderness in your touch he hasn’t felt since… he can’t recall. After several hours in each others passionate embrace, Scaramouche may fall into a restless slumber. You may initially find this rare period of sleep from him to be enjoyable however it opens the gateway to a version of Scaramouche you may find yourself unfamiliar with.

The first night Scaramouche falls asleep in your presence, you soon understand his disdain for sleep. The whimpers and cries that escape the balladeer are completely uncharacteristic for him. You had never heard his voice assume any tone beyond a haughty drawl or an intimidating bark, you almost didn’t recognise it was Scaramouche speaking until a familiar word escaped his throat.

”Y/N...”

It was undoubtedly the balladeer speaking however his voice had been fragile and light as he spoke your name, as though saying it too harshly would cause it to shatter.

”Y/N… come back, please…”

“please...” he had whispered out and the word sounded almost foreign on his tongue. Until now you had assumed the word didn’t even exist in the harbingers vocabulary. His sleep only seemed to worsen. You sat up, unsure whether you should wake him or not. His gentle murmurs were slowly growing louder and more desperate. You watched as his sleeping form writhed across the bed, his arms fully extended as his fingers clenched and unclenched, grasping and pawing at the bedsheets.

You slowly nudged yourself closer to him, preparing to wake him from whatever nightmares was plaguing him until his hand brushed against your night clothes. Suddenly his fist clenched tightly around your waist as he yanked your body impossibly closer, curling around you.

The following morning he untangled his limbs from yours before quickly scurrying out of the room. His gaze never met yours but from the chaste kiss and the way his eyes refused to look up from the ground… you swore he almost seemed embarrassed, his demeanour suiting that of a pouting child rather than an agent of destruction.

As you opened the bedroom doors not long after his departure, the stench of sizzled flesh wafted through the corridors. Some poor Fatuus were now paying the price in blood for Scaramouche’s humiliation as they were demoted from subordinates to the punching bags for him to unleash his rage on. The part of himself that he had buried so deeply, shrouded in layer and layer of bitterness and rage, had exposed itself to your discerning gaze and his mortification was suffocating him.

If he were a weaker man perhaps the humiliation would have brought tears to his eyes but he was stronger than the mewling little wretch he used to be. Like forging a sword, he had beaten the impurities out one by one in the heat of his own hatred and the boiling of his blood until only the perfect blade remained. cold. lethal. merciless. He is no quivering weakling that can simply be thrown away. Not anymore. Never again. In spite of his pathetic display last night he would make certain you and everyone else remembers it.

[jsraven7]

This is an odd post, but seeing all the new Hellenic Polytheists terrified of making the Gods angry breaks my heart.

You have to try extremely hard to make the Gods mad. They will not be mad at you for tiny things. You practically have to be intentionally trying to make them mad, or do something hubristic. I wanted to share a story of mine personally to aid others in this anxiety. I know this may be an odd way of helping others feel better, but I really do hope it helps.

I started working with and worshipping Lady Hekate over a year ago. I was in a horrendous headspace, and called out to Her for more selfish reasons. I built my relationship with Her on needing help to do baneful workings against the abuser I just escaped from. Which, really, is a thing a lot of people do. But, because I was in this horrendous headspace, I didn’t go about it the right way. I didn’t do a good job at building Kharis with Her, or giving Her any offerings for Her help. I was quite disrespectful to Her, really. I felt my relationship with Her turn towards something more strained. I felt more negative when thinking of Her, and a lot of the time I felt shut out from Her. Any offerings I gave Her felt disconnected, like a call that didn’t go through. She was not quite happy with me, and I couldn’t blame Her.

The thing is, though, is that She was never angry with me. I could feel our relationship break slightly, and I could feel a wall between us. My offerings didn’t always feel like they were accepted, and our relationship just felt discordant. But every time I sat down with Her with my divination tools and asked if She was mad at me, the answer was always a very strict, ‘no’. Despite how tumultuous our relationship felt, She was never angry. Disappointed maybe, yes, but not angry. I worked closely with Her on repairing the little cracks in our relationship as I begun to heal a bit more from what I asked Her to help me with, and as I got more stable in myself. I dedicated time to devotional acts for Her, speaking with Her, and giving Her offerings with the intention of reparations. Very quickly, our relationship healed. I wouldn’t say it’s perfect yet, but we have a very wonderful relationship now. I clean bones in Her honor, and I love to feel Her presence as I do so.

All in all, the point of this is, our relationships with our Gods are just that—relationships. The Gods will not be mad at you for every small thing, or even for bigger things, like the mistakes I made. Your relationship may feel odd with Them from time to time, but that’s completely alright. Like every relationship, you have to figure out your rhythm, and there’s no sense in a God being mad for you figuring out how this all works. I was very experienced with this all when I made those mistakes, and yet She was never mad. Why would They be upset when you’re just figuring it all out?

Rest easy, all of you. This is a religion, this is life, this is love. Religion is to be enjoyed, to let your happiest self go. The Gods rejoice in Themselves, and rejoice in you. Have fun, be respectful, and trust in yourselves and Them. Love to all of you—be kind to yourselves.

[ropebunnykant]

i've already talked about it a little here but i've got to talk about it more because there is actually SO MANY layers to the brothers getting physical injuries in ep7 and how it's being used to represent the betrayal.

agatha @bisonsclothespin pointed out their tags on that post here that the use of physical injuries to represent emotional hurt/betrayal has already been used in the show by way of fadel having a physical scar, presumably from some kind of stab wound, over his heart in reference to the way his ex likely hurt him. and i don't think it's a coincidence that bison ends up with a stab wound as well!

i actually find the choice in injuries to be extremely interesting when you consider the betrayals and how they impact the brothers individually. bison is stabbed, and fadel breaks his arm. for bison, this is the first time he has been through this kind of heartbreak and betrayal, and his injury is far less common than someone breaking their arm is. which is why fadel gets a broken arm, because this has all happened for him before.

additionally, a broken arm is going to take a lot longer to heal than a stab wound. a stab wound will likely scar, yes, and take time to heal, but depending on the break, a broken arm can take up to twelve weeks to heal, and even then you may need physical therapy after - your arm may never have the same function and strength it once did. it's an interesting parallel seeing as fadel is the one that is taking so much longer to heal!

i also think the fact that bison got stabbed in the stomach specifically is VERY interesting. because when it comes to betrayal, the more common phrase is to get stabbed in the back. but to be stabbed in the back, you have to not only not know it's coming, but it also often implies that you could assume at one point that person was on your side. that's not the case for bison and kant in any sense. kant was keeping this from bison for nearly the entire time they've known each other, he was never on bison's side. and not only that, but bison knew something was off. we see him questioning kant all the way up until ep5, we see him realize and recognize in ep4 that kant drugged him and then willingly close his eyes to that and give kant his heart anyways. bison wasn't stabbed in the back by kant - he was stabbed in the stomach, closing his eyes to it despite knowing it was coming.

the way the injuries are addressed in ep8 is also very interesting to me from this angle! with bison specifically, every single time that his stab wound started hurting was in direct correlation to when he's forced to acknowledge his feelings for kant - ie when kant is pouring salt on the wound by making bison acknowledge he loves kant while bison still doesn't believe kant loves him back! it happens first when kant tries to make bison say what he feels for kant and once bison shoots him down and insists he's not in a place to negotiate and that he'll die here, he clears his throat and that's when kant is able to recognize he's in pain. then it happens again after kant takes a protective stance for babe and explains why he actually took the job in the first place - there's more distance between that and when bison holds onto his stab wound, but given that we know one of the reasons bison fell for kant in the first place is because of the fact that he's a caring older brother, i don't think it's a coincidence that those are in the same scene. the next time it happens is IMMEDIATELY after bison gives kant the band aid and kant tries to get bison to admit he's worried about him - as soon as kant finishes, bison is holding his side again. bison's wound isn't brought up again after that, and i don't think it's a coincidence because after that, we get the penguin scene and then the reconciliation. the wound has healed.

while fadel's isn't brought up in the same ways throughout the ep, i do find it very interesting that only after style has managed to regain some of fadel's trust is when he helps fadel take the sling off. and then by the time they're in the bath, the cast is gone as well - and if we go off the trailer, it doesn't come back again, either. i said it in my tags, but i'm willing to forgive incorrect healing time when it's meant to symbolize forgiveness!

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

Fic Preview

A sneak peek of the next chapter of Something to Sink Your Teeth Into

Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Vampire/Witch!AU

Evan was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. That was the only explanation for what was happening—Sally, solid and purring against his chest as he held her; the strength and warmth of a coven bond pulsing through him, restoring his magic faster than he’d experienced in years. He buried his face in Sally’s rough fur the way he used to when he was a child, unable to stop the tears that sprang to his eyes. “Sally,” he whispered, his voice choked and hoarse. “Sally…what…how…” His words broke on a rough sob and he finally raised his face from Sally’s fur. “How are you here?”

Sally pressed her forehead against his cheek, the familiar rumble of her purring filling his ears and it only made the tears spill faster. It was Sally. It was Sally.

I’ve been waiting so long. I’d begun to think I was wrong…that you’d never find your way to him.

Evan startled at that, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Huh? Wh-what do you mean?” Him? Him who? Surely she couldn’t be talking about…

He looked over at his vampire, who was watching the whole scene unfold in front of him with a sort of stunned confusion. The other two vampires were just as frozen, staring at Evan and Sally in disbelief. Slowly, he started to pull himself to his feet, his muscles protesting and his head swimming at the sudden change in altitude. He was recovering quickly…but he’d been dying less than an hour ago. He let out a soft, pained sound despite himself, and Tommy was suddenly at his side. His vampire’s strong arm slid under his, helping him up and then immediately pulling him close to Tommy’s side. Evan closed his eyes and opened himself fully to the bond that flowed between him and Tommy, nearly gasping out loud at the flood of emotions he could sense from his vampire.

Witches learned early how to dampen their feelings and emotions in a coven bond, how to keep them from overwhelming the coven. Vampire covens were not the same as witch covens, though—Tommy had no frame of reference for how to close that part of himself off. All of it was laid bare for Evan…his vampire’s worry, his confusion, his wariness over Sally’s sudden appearance, his heart-stopping relief that Evan was all right.

His love.

Evan could feel it—a thread that stretched effortlessly through every other emotion he could sense from his vampire. Unyielding. Unshakable. Tommy loved him already, needed him, wanted him…could not bear the thought of being apart from him. Whatever they were facing, Tommy would be right beside him because that was where he belonged. That was where he wanted to be. Not for anything he felt he owed Evan, or anything that Evan could do for him or give to him. Because he loved Evan and trusted Evan, and that was enough.

Evan was enough.

All his life, that had only been true for Maddie and Sally. And he loved them with all his heart and was so, so grateful for them…but this was different. This was someone who had no reason to want him, no obligation, no link, nothing binding them together. Evan’s magic had drawn them together, but he saw now that Tommy was right. It couldn’t force his vampire to love him like this. Tommy had chosen this. Chosen him. Just like he was choosing Tommy. No matter what happened, no matter how this awful knot of tensions they’d found themselves embroiled in resolved, Evan knew he was staying with Tommy.

He let himself sink into the bond—the impossible, unbelievable coven bond that had somehow formed between himself and his vampire. He had never heard of such a thing, didn’t even know how it was possible, but he wasn’t afraid. Only a short while ago, this would have terrified him. Would have sent him spiraling into fear and self-loathing at the idea that his magic had somehow once again trapped Tommy into something he didn’t want. Now, though? He’d have to talk to Tommy, to tell him what had happened, but wrapped securely in the echoes of Tommy’s love and trust, their coven bond singing in his blood, he wasn’t even a little afraid. Tommy would understand.

His vampire would want this. Want him. He had nothing to fear from telling Tommy about the bond.

He let Tommy take more of his weight as Sally finally pulled back from the crook of his neck, looking up at his vampire with a sharp, assessing look. Took you long enough, you damned fool, she said with a light scoff.

Evan let out a wet laugh, hugging her tightly again. Something deep inside him, something that had been lost and hurting for the past five years eased, and it was like he could take a full breath again after a vise had constricted his lungs. He had Sally. He had a coven. He had his vampire.

Everything. Almost everything he had been longing for, wishing for, back before he’d even known what the things he wanted were…was right here.

Tommy’s arm tightened around his waist, and he tugged Evan towards the living room. Sally shifted slightly, sliding out of Evan’s arms to land neatly on the floor and trotting ahead of them to leap up on the couch. She turned to face them expectantly, her tail twining primly around her feet in such a familiar gesture Evan almost started crying again. He let his vampire help him over to the couch and sank down onto it, his whole body relaxing when Sally immediately scrambled onto his lap.

“Maddie?” Evan asked urgently, the biggest and most important question he had bursting out of him, his voice sounding desperate even to his own ears. “Is Maddie okay?”

Sally batted at his cheek with a gentle paw. Your sister is well, she said, and it felt as though a ten ton weight he hadn’t even been aware he was carrying slid off his back. I contact Sebastian whenever I can. He assures me she is fine.

“Good,” he breathed, swallowing harshly. “Good, that’s—that’s good.”

“Evan,” Tommy interrupted gently. His voice was careful. “I’m—I’m gonna need some context here.” He sounded bewildered, throwing looks down at Sally that seemed more cautious than strictly warranted.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind knowing what the fuck is going on, either!” Sal added, boosting himself up to sit on the large island that dominated most of the kitchen.

Evan struggled to pull himself together. “This is Sally, guys,” he said, one hand finding its way to the rough fur on Sally’s back almost without conscious thought. “My…my familiar. Or—or she was, I—”

I shall always be your familiar, little love, Sally said fiercely, and Evan took a deep, shuddering breath. Tommy stepped closer to them, his hand lightly skating through Evan’s hair, though he didn’t sit down.

“Yeah, no, I got that. Just, that’s also the stray I’ve been feeding for like two years.”

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ellooo! Can I maybe request THH students aka the competitors of the killing game meeting pokemon Violet/scarlet trainer Y/n because a worm hole brought them in the killing game? Maybe they have some legendaries that help atleast make sure monokuma doesn’t pressure them all so maybe no killing? Maybe Y/n could offer they’re Pokémon as therapy animals and maybe hold “mock” Pokémon battles with the others by like giving them a Pokémon of theyres so they can try out battling! :3 I hope you have a nice January!

Thank you! Hope your January is good to you, too! For reference I'll leave the team vague (except for Mewtwo and Porygon Z for plot reasons), but they still have access to others they've captured in the Paldea/Kitakami/BB regions

I'll just do a few characters to help me ease back into writing the og Danganronpa series (which I haven't written for in like 5 years apparently????????)

............

General

You weren't sure why the wormhole ever opened to begin with.

Maybe there was still some instability within Area Zero despite the time machine being long gone, or perhaps something else decided to open up a pocket in the universe.

But regardless, it dropped you off inside of a school.

Not Naranja/Uva or BB Academy, but a much different school that had an ominous atmosphere hanging over it.

You quickly meet the other students there after being summoned to the gym, discovering that they all woke up here, too.

They didn't know anything about each other---nor did they know anything about Pokémon when one asked about your "Ultimate" (which you soon learn is your talent).

From what they understood, you tamed animals and made them fight other people's animals, which....seemed a little concerning.

But before you could explain any further, Monokuma shows up to announce the killing game.

Immediately, you take it upon yourself to defeat him, so you send out Mewtwo to destroy the bear--who self-destructs in response, but fortunately they're able to put up a psychic shield in time as he reprimands you for attacking the headmaster.

Your Legendary's appearance shocks every student there, realizing that these "animals" of yours actually possess magic and are 100% not of this world.

Whatever any of them believed before was thrown out the window.

Given your unexpected arrival (and the fact you were pretty much untouchable thanks to your team), Monokuma won't be able to enforce the killing game as much as he liked to--although he thinks someone's gonna eventually kill somebody.

While the gate couldn't be breached, you and the other students try to accept living within the school, certain there was another way out.

He still tries handing out the first motive, only for your Porygon-Z to corrupt every video so that nobody felt pressured to kill.

But while everybody was at first wary of you and your powerful Pokémon team, they've grown to trust you, even considering you a leader.

You have no idea how to return to your world, so you might as well stay here and form friendships with these people.

Makoto

He was the first student you met...and the first to make you realize something was incredibly different about this school.

But after you saved everyone in the gym from having to worry about killing, he became more curious about you and your team.

Since nobody knew about Pokémon battling, you decide to pass the time by become a teacher to all who were willing to learn!

Makoto was first in line, of course.

You still had access to your PC, and after getting it hooked up to the computer system (with help from Chihiro), you lend him an Eevee for practice, bringing out one of your fighting 'mons to teach him about type advantages.

"So I just...give them a command, and they'll listen?"

"Yep. That's all! I'll let you try first."

On the sidelines, Monokuma vouched to have the loser get executed--but ofc nobody listens to him.

Makoto genuinely enjoyed the mock battle, as his luck allowed him to land several critical hits on your Pokémon.

Afterwards, you introduce him to a Shiny Eevee, and during your free time, he's surprised to hear about your harrowing tales of shiny hunting.

"Your talent would work pretty well where I come from," you remark. "Because these guys are super rare to find in the wild."

"That's pretty cool. So what's your strategy? Do you camp out for a few days in the wilderness or...?"

"No. I kinda just run around until I find one. But sometimes, I'll be getting chased by some angry Pokémon who don't like me being on their turf...and in my panic, I'll stumble across a shiny."

"Hahaha..I can picture that happening to me with my kind of luck." He chuckles, now unable to get the image of you running from an angry Eevee mob out of his head.

Ishimaru

Despite witnessing your Mewtwo's heroic act in the gym, Taka still sees them as an animal that shouldn't be walking around inside a school, feeling obligated to enforce that rule when he catches you two going to get snacks.

"Excuse me, but pets are NEVER allowed inside the cafeteria!!"

"I thought I already explained that they're not a "pet", Ishimaru." You and Mewtwo stare at the prefect. "At my school, we're allowed to have our Pokémon out as long as they're not a distraction."

"Well...this is a different school in case you haven't noticed! So different rules apply here! Now please put your Mewtwo back in that little contraption-"

"A pokeball?"

"Yes! The poke-ball!"

"....and who are you gonna tell if I don't?" You grin smugly, watching him draw a blank. "Surely not Monokuma, who's been keeping us hostage here, right?"

Taka freezes up, but after remembering that you basically stopped a potential murder from taking place...he relents and stops bothering you about keeping your Pokémon away (though he's still not happy about it).

He was appalled at your suggestion of having "violent" battles in the gym--to which you reassure him nothing's gonna get destroyed, as they're only mock battles.

He watches a few, nervous whenever the Pokémon on either side faint or take heavy damage.

Then one day (post-sauna), he stops by your room and asks if he could try it for himself, admitting that he's been taking notes on the sidelines and wants to be tested.

He was craving new knowledge and decided that if Pokemon was the only "study" available, he'll accept it.

Delighted, you let him train with a Charcadet. You haven't decided what armor to give them yet, but they were still quite strong with their bold nature.

The two immediately get along and battle quite well, although when Taka loses, he feels terrible and tries going over what he could have messed up on.

You remind him that battling was supposed to be fun, but you give him an A+ for having the same passion and vigor as an experienced trainer--which lifts his spirits.

You decide to let him keep Charcadet for the time being, noticing how they've been picking up his attitude, discouraging other Pokemon from causing trouble or mischief within the school.

Mondo

After learning about his Ultimate, you just knew you had to show off a Shiny Cyclizar that you've caught.

But he takes one look at them.....and laughs.

"No way, you're telling me people can ride that wimpy little lizard????"

"...yes. And this "wimp" can actually reach up to speeds 70 MPH. They've been around for longer than you, I, and your precious motorcycle have been alive." You remark, which makes the biker shut up for the moment.

He wishes he could have his motorcycle just to race you and prove himself better, but he takes your word for it after you climb on Cyclizar's back and run a lap around the gym.

If you have a Miraidon, his jealousy would be shot to the maximum because your motorcycle-lizard is not only 100% robot but they can shoot electricity AND fly????

That's so badass it should be illegal.

If you have a Koraidon, he might have a brief confrontation with them after they assume their Apex form, believing he was threatening you.

Luckily, you quickly recalled them before he could even try throwing a punch.

But since battling interested him, you let him practice with that same Shiny Cyclizar...only for him to discover that they won't listen to any of his commands.

You intended to teach him a lesson about respecting Pokémon, since he hasn't apologized for insulting them--but he didn't understand and thought you were lying about the moves you taught them.

But eventually, you get it through his thick skull and he yells out an apology, which Cyclizar seems to accept as they use Scale Shot-

Only for to miss your Pokémon all five times, making him fume as you mention accuracy as another aspect of battling.

Least to say....Mondo is extremely competitive and acted like a sore loser when you, a champion-ranked trainer, beat him.

But he got over it eventually, and you let him keep the Cyclizar, who did forgive him and gladly kept him company.

Aoi

While you were talking about the different Pokémon types, of course the Ultimate Swimmer would be most interested in the water types.

So you let her browse your PC for some time.

Lapras and (surprisingly) Aqua Breed Tauros piqued her curiosity, asking you if she could train with them since you also mentioned having done double-battles.

Funny enough, those two had natures that subverted her expectations: the gentle-looking Lapras was rash and aggressive with their attacks, while the scary-looking Aqua Tauros was so timid they were outcasted from their herd.

Once they come out of the PC and Aoi gets to know them--they're basically her Pokémon forever now. Sorry.

She absolutely LOVES that they can join her in the pool! Even if Lapras can't swim around much, they still enjoy the water.

And Aqua Tauros' body fat allows them to float around without fear of sinking.

If you were to tell her that Lapras' species was nearly hunted to extinction, she'd prob tear up, but you'd then reassure her there's a lot of protection laws and their population has grown in abundance since.

When it comes time for the double battle, you send out some strong electric types of your own, just to see how well she'd do in the face of type disadvantages.

You didn't realize how closely Aoi bonded with Aqua Tauros until you used an attack that was normally a OHKO--only to see them still standing, having "toughened it out".

Turns out that her cheerful mood and encouragement have given the bull the confidence they needed.

Sakura

After watching your battle with Aoi, Sakura steps in and asks if she could see the Pokémon you have available.

You decide to show her the fighting types, and she immediately takes an interest in Urshifu, who you've had since your trip to Galar's Isle of Armor.

They remind her so much of her dojo, and felt inspired when you told her about the journey their previous evolution (Kubfu) went on to help them achieve their current form, whether it's Single or Rapid Strike Style.

The Legendary wants to learn more about her fighting styles--so the pair have a friendly sparring match with each other.

You worried about Urshifu hurting her with their move set, but they fortunately restrain from using anything dark/water/fighting-related powers.

That's a form of self-control you've never seen before in a Pokémon, but you're relieved (and impressed) when Sakura yields with only a few scratches.

Although she vowed to never lose to a human opponent, this doesn't count as Urshifu isn't exactly human.

You then introduce her to the Tyrogue line you've caught in the canyon biome (Tyrogue, Hitmonlee, Hitmontop, and Hitmonchan), and they're collectively awestruck after seeing her rematch Urshifu, wanting to learn her ways.

So she ends up being a teacher to them, and it's quite adorable seeing them all training together in a way that not just strengthens Sakura's own mind and body, but also theirs, too.

She's not too keen on using them to battle, as she sees them as their own individual who should have the choice to battle if they want.

But because you assured her they wanted to, she agrees and uses Urshifu while you sent out Iron Valiant, a fighter from the future--and despite the type disadvantage, she actually won and thoroughly shocked you.

[mcytegg]

woke up at 12 am and all i can think abt the empire and the sticklers like im sorry but i am so not normal abt their alliance it means the entire world to me.....

like especially the trust JUMPER has in the empire. ive been chewing through her s6 vods and the speed at which she went from fearing and wanting revenge bc they killed her and ro to her trusting them and wanting them to trust her was actually crazy

and this is all bc mapicc and minute chased clown away from her base bc he was hunting her down and she had no one else to protect her w her team offline. like yeah other people like zam and pangi were on but realistically how can they fight a clownpierce when zam was, at that point, a pacifist and pangi is pangi? /lh

them choosing to help jumper that day changed soooo much, it led to her warning the empire of her and reks silly end portal prank and warning them abt her trap,, and her taking direct action to build a bridge between their two teams which was both only possible bc yk. mapicc and minutes inherent bias for some people on the team ANDDDD their sense of honour when it comes to who they choose to fight

like as much as the empire WANTS to be the bad guys this season, its quite funny how they just ARENT (yet) bc they have actual honour and morals in comparison to the blindfold bandits (flame, mane, wemmbu, and pentar i believe) who have been terrorizing the server, especially low heart players, since the beginning.

bc like choosing to protect jumper from clown was just...THE most minute and mapicc thing ever like theyre both just like that; i dont think either of them see any purpose behind terrorizing and hunting players like jumper, pangi, squiddo, etc who both dont really involve themselves in pvp and who dont HAVE the capability to fight back if theyre jumped by someone w like 20 hearts

like dont get me wrong theyll attack players who are weaker than them, theyre not moral and faultless people, like minute killing sb for a heart, mapicc wanting to kill kab for a heart bc he thinks she has too many (before he hit 20 hearts), etc but those are players who have CHOSEN to involve themselves in pvp and to kill other players—

and im crying wait i hate devotion duo so fucking bad bc ive just now realized mapiccs standards for players he will kill vs ones he deems needing his protection if he knows theyre being hunted by like mane, clown, or wemmbu is literally identical to ZAMS own standards for players he will involve himself in conflict for vs those he wont (aka innocent players vs those who choose to involve themselves in Situations)

anyways! im just yapping atp but idc. yeah so mapicc and minutes inherent sense of honour in regards to fighting and pvp on top of hopperclock-duality friendship buff from previous season(s) has lead to one of the most interesting alliances ever like if u could not tell i love and adore this alliance so very much bc the foundation of it is trust and friendship rather than power or how they can benefit one another

they have common enemies for sure, but a lot of what they do doesnt even really involve fighting or conflict. its mostly just spending time together and being silly likeeee jumper and spokes silly4silly friendship, ro helping mapicc stalk zam, chief refusing to trap/kill rek after chat asks bc theyre buddies, etc etc

i really desperately want to see them interact and do more together bc i just wanna see both teams login more ngl but i'd also like to see them just have fun TOGETHER like they did during the pangi wipe out recording during that one session a few weeks ago yk,, i also hope the empire will involve the sticklers in whatever shit they have planned for january bc they allegedly have some evil, devious things planned when minute is more free / available for life steal

i actually just have no idea what im saying anymore ngl ive been typing for over an hr but tysm if u read me yapping abt the empire and the sticklers. it will happen again. /threat

[sallymew4]

kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once

im not even joking btw

bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[randomnameless]

More about a certain beast masquerading as a human -

Teaspoon translation hasn't gotten to that point yet, so I'll keep on checking but in her expedition dialogues with Barney, Flayn goes :

Is there something amiss with my face? I like to think my features are of a similar and pleasing proportion.

Traditional reaction from a character who is stared at by the avatar.

In JP though...

わたくしの顔、何か変でしょうか？　目も 鼻も口も、皆さんと同じだと思うのですが

(years of reading naruto raw scans made me recognise 目 lol)

Google'd it goes like this :

Is there something strange about my face? My eyes, nose, and mouth are the same as everyone else's

Sure, you can interpret it as Flayn saying she's like everyone else aka has "similar proportion" to everyone else... but with the context - and giving how Flayn doesn't mention her ears at all! - it's much more interesting that despite being a "creature masquerading as a human", Flayn desperatly wants to be seen (to continue masquerading!!!!) as someone who isn't strange, but we could also infer that she is worried about her nature and appearance : she's not strange, after all, she is pretty similar to a human!

Which leads to the second point :

It makes me very happy indeed to know that you think of me as a friend

わたくしのことを、お友達だと思って くれているなら嬉しいのですが……

It's more or less (according to GT) the same thing, but note Flayn's ellipse, she'd be happy if Barney - out of anyone - would consider her to be a friend. Is she doubtful that it would never happen because she knows Barney has ties to Agarthans? Or she is just afraid that she cannot make friends with humans, because she's not one of them?

That friend thing is developed in her exploration lines :

Ask about their friends.: Do you think the others consider me as one of their friends? 皆さんはわたくしのことを、仲間だと 思ってくれているのでしょうか……？

She feels insecure about how she is perceived by the others, aka the members of the AG cast - even if she joined their ranks and has been fighting with them!

(it almost makes me think of a scenario where she joins a class, then her Leader ask her to stop having power over humans and says she should have been comatose somewhere else instead of wanting to reunite with her family, after organised her abduction and exsanguination, so she leaves that class, but her former classmates - who participated in her rescue mission - can now kill her because they believe she is a monster and a cruel beast without any regard for human life. Her life would suck in that scenario!)

Long story, short story : Flayn wishes to make friends with humans (and even agarthans, if she knows about Barney!) but is still worried that they will shun her, or straight up refuse to befriend her if she is perceived as different (or if her identity is revealed).

I guess both games could have tackled that issue - especially in her supports with two lords - but that would mean ditching your pot of Hresvelg Grey, and we can't have that.

Instead, we have a very fine cup of tea, while Flayn gets reduced screentime by virtue of being associated to Rhea, who is BaD bcs she exists.

[gayofthefae]

Here's the thing about season 3. Nothing was a secret. There was no lining or buildup. They cleared up the miscommunication in episode 4 and she stood by breaking up with him anyways.

From there, just like I say about Will's feelings being unreciprocated, the problem is unactionable, so there's no lesson and nothing for us to root for.

Mike wants to get back together with El. She knows that. Nothing happens.

The L bomb was dropped as a false sense of momentum, because there actually wasn't any because him not saying it wasn't the problem so it shouldn't be the solution. Usually you have pining. Think the full season breakup story they did the following season:

There was pining. There was investment from US. Because there was setup for confession. Because something was withheld to be revealed. "You know I really like you but you don't know I love you" does not count. Lucas didn't know Max wanted to get back together. They had been broken up long enough and Lucas was respectful enough that Max couldn't be sure either. That setup investment for the notes passing scene. That set up his NERVES in it. That set up me being excited when I saw their first kiss in her 4x04 happy memories sequence. And satisfied to have predicted the Snow Ball as her happiest memory. If Max had known he definitely wanted to get back together as soon as she was ready again and wasn't going to move on at all, there would be no stakes.

Mike wanted to be with El. Then she didn't want to be with him. She can't have the nerves of confessing to him she wants to get back together because she already knows he does. He can't have the nerves of confessing he wants to because he already has. And they didn't establish them as friends solidly or for long enough like they did by establishing that Lucas and Max had ALREADY broken up as opposed to a 6 day breakup arc to make it so that they became unsure of what they once knew to me true of getting back together. Severity of wording changed and El loves romantic tropes in movies so it had influence but really:

Mike had no information to add that El didn't already have. El had nothing stopping her giving Mike information as soon as she had it. There were no stakes. So I didn't care. Whatever happened, cute. That was my thought process. But I had no real investment anymore, unlike when they were building to confession or fighting to get back to each other, because I knew as soon as she wanted to get back together they just automatically would be. So if you, like you were meant to, believed that Mike loved El and knew that she knew that, that scene where she said it back was cute. But not satisfying.

There is nothing to be resolved. We're watching events take place sequentially. Because when there are no stakes, there's no real goal either. Mike invented one for himself because he was uncomfortable with the idea of how comfortable he was broken up.

Tldr: Mike and El's relationship had no secrets and therefore no stakes or opportunity for confession in season 3. El telling Mike she loved him was cute, but not a "confession". Because, just like Mike telling her he loves her in 4x09, if we (think we) know how the other person is feeling and will react, we can't at all invest in the feelings of nervousness or satisfaction that the confessor is feeling.

Season 3 and 4 uninvested us by feigning plots in which they gave us no new information. And bored us. If you know exactly how a scene will play out all but exact wording, you will space out because you can. A writer never wants you to be able to space out and miss nothing. (Until they don't want you to miss what's happening when they take it away)

[dramarants]

i only want love triangles if it's whatever fucked up polygon junmo kicheol and euijeong have going on

[katyspersonal]

[crossdressingdeath]

One thing that I find both fascinating and deeply sad in TSatS is that when Will asks if they're going to Percy's house to ask him to come with them to Tartarus Nico says no on the grounds that he doesn't want to involve Percy in it... but when asked why Bob wouldn't ask Percy for help, Nico's immediate thought is that Bob didn't think Percy and Annabeth would help him. Like, that's his one and only theory. I suspect that there's a part of that where... Nico thinks to himself that Bob doesn't think Percy and Annabeth would help so that he doesn't have to think that he doesn't think Percy and Annabeth would help. In other words he's thinking it's Bob who didn't call for Percy and Annabeth because he didn't believe they'd help him, because the alternative is for Nico to say "I'm not asking them for help because I know they would say no and I don't want to face that refusal". And it's not that he wants them to come! If Nico had had his way he would've gone alone, he doesn't want to put anyone in danger, it's just that he managed to find the only demigod as stubborn as he is and made the mistake of telling Will what his plans were. But it's one thing to not want to involve people in something incredibly dangerous; it's quite another to know that if you asked for their help, and in this case their help saving the person they owe their lives to, they would say no. I'm sure they would be properly apologetic about refusing, they do seem to feel genuinely terrible about forgetting Bob (which... good) and "I'm not going to superhell again" is a perfectly understandable boundary to have, but I think Nico just... doesn't want to admit to himself that he was willing to go to Tartarus for Percy but Percy would never do the same for him. Hence him leaving it at "I don't want to make him do this" when asked if he'll ask Percy to help for his sake, but thinking quite openly to himself that Bob probably didn't think Percy and Annabeth would help, because Bob helped them out of loyalty to Nico so it isn't devastatingly sad to admit they'd never do the same for him the way it would be for Nico to admit that Percy would never go to Tartarus for him despite him going to Tartarus largely to help Percy.

Also, it's deeply disappointing that it doesn't come up again later in the book because please for the love of god Rick can we please have a discussion around Nico's fatal flaw being his "will literally go to hell and back for people who he knows would never do the same for him" level of loyalty and not holding grudges, and also how literally the only evidence even his own sister could offer for holding grudges being his fatal flaw was that he's the son of Hades and also was still upset about his sister dying six months after it happened. Now that he's got someone as loyal to him as he is to everyone else (Will refusing to not follow Nico to hell is so good after so long of Nico constantly being prepared to give up everything for others and getting next to nothing in return) it's a great time to get into how despite basically every other POV character going on about Nico being creepy and morally dubious actually his most consistent character trait is being the most loyal character in the whole series (and possibly the whole Riordanverse, honestly) no matter how many times that loyalty burns him.

[dez-wade]

Insaneduo is ironically the only thing saving me from insanity

Thank you for existing and also giving me the amazing divorcee dynamic.

[skippingseaglass]

the world is kinder than i think it is isn't it?